I don’t really recall my first encounter with pie – doubtlessly, it was at a very young age, and was probably pumpkin flavored.  My clearest memory with pie revolves around this family-oriented restaurant called The Copper Kettle, which served absolutely delicious pies for dessert.  My favorite was the black bottom pie – it mixed chocolate, rum and gingersnaps into a tasty treat.  I’ve enjoyed countless pies since then, and I’ve really mostly focused on the fillings, be they fruit, cream, pudding or otherwise.  Of course, most of these were store-bought or restaurant-made, which might explain I’m so filling focused – they never really spent time perfecting the crust.  A homemade pie has a tasty filling, but it’s wrapped in a crust that yields to the fork, but also gives the pie structure.  Oh, and if it happened to taste good, that’d be even better.  The crusts from my childhood are rather flavorless, almost afterthoughts of pie making.  Would Alton’s teachings be enough to help me make a homemade pie crust?

I’ve said before that I’m not a baker, and my past experiences with placing flour-based products into the oven bear that out.  So, even before this whole thing begins, I’m at a disadvantage.  The recipe plays to my weak spots.  I had to make sure to understand every step of the procedure – not only when to do a thing, but why a thing was necessary.  Fortunately, that’s where Alton comes in.  He explained the necessary steps of making pie crust, and after watching the episode a few times, I felt I was ready to make some pies.

First though, I had to decide where to do it.  I needed a large, flat, smooth space to roll out the dough, I needed a rolling pin to roll out the dough, and I needed a large food processor to bring the flour together.  There was only one place I knew about where all of those things existed – my parent’s place.  On the way, I detoured to Bed, Bath and Beyond to purchase some rolling pin bands – eight dollars bought me a collection of four sets of bands with different thicknesses.  These bands go on either end of a rolling pin, and they are designed to make certain dough is rolled to the exact thickness you set.

I decided I was going to make two pies – one for immediate consumption, and the other for work.  The first order of business was to combine all the dry ingredients together, so AP flour, cornmeal, sugar and salt all went into two workbowls.  I also grabbed a pound of unsalted butter and diced it.  A quarter pound was left out to get to room temperature, but the rest was divided into two stacks and chilled along with the flour mixture.  Once everything was nice and cold, I put the flour mixture into the food processor and pulsed a few times to combine everything.  I then added half the room temperature butter and pulsed to get the butter incorporated.  Once the butter disappeared, half of this batch’s chilled butter was added to the food processor, and pulsed until the flour started taking a mealy texture.  At that point, the rest of the butter was added, and pulsed four times, just to cut up the butter without fully incorporating it.  This was returned to the work bowl and returned to the fridge to chill again.  Everything was repeated with the second batch.

Once the first batch was cold again, I pulled it back out and grabbed a spray bottle filled with iced apple juice.  Anyone who’s made pie crust before can tell you that the water needs to be ice cold when it’s added, but Alton suggested apple juice because it has extra sugar, and adds a bit of flavor itself.  The spray bottle evenly distributes the juice to the entire surface area.  I spritzed some juice on the flour, then worked it in, continuing to spritz and work until I could grab a handful of the flour, squeeze it, and have it stick together and break cleanly when snapped in half.  Again, this was duplicated with the second batch.

While the dough was hydrating in the fridge, I got to work on making the fillings.  This was a pear tart, which started by adding four thinly sliced Anjou pears to a hot pan.  They were cooked for about two minutes, and then some balsamic vinegar was added.  This cooked for about 30 seconds, just long enough to heat the vinegar.  Sugar gets added, and it cooks for another two minutes to soften the pears.  Nutmeg, cinnamon and butter are added, and once the butter melts, blueberries get folded into the mixture.  This is removed from the heat, and a touch of flour is added just to thicken.  Incredibly simple, and very flavorful.

Here’s where things started going awry.  I pulled the first batch from the fridge, and the dough was anything but.  It still looked loose and wouldn’t hold together at all.  Same for the second batch.  Over the next two hours, I had to keep spraying the pie crust until it finally accepted enough liquid to hydrate and make a stable dough.  With a functional dough at last, I set to rolling out the dough for the galette.  Unfortunately, the rolling pin I had was rather small, so the dough guides ended up rolling over the dough, squashing it flat.  I had to remove them to get an even thickness, which sort of negated their usefulness.

At long last, the first dough was ready, so several ounces of pound cake (store bought, frozen and thawed) was added to the center, followed by half of the filling.  The cake soaked up the liquid and prevented it from oozing off the side of the dough.  A few more ounces of butter was dotted on top, and then the dough was folded up on top of the filling.  It created a pentagonal pocket of pears and blueberries, which I coated in egg wash, dusted with sugar and placed into a 400 degree oven for just over half an hour.

When the pie finally came out, I was impressed.  This almost looked like I knew what I was doing.  The crust was golden brown, the filling bubbled pleasantly, and the whole thing didn’t even make a mess in the oven.  The second pie went in shortly thereafter, and it turned out just as well.  How did it taste?  Absolutely delicious – there was barely any leftovers when I took the second pie in to work the next day.

Maybe I’m getting better at baking.  Or, more likely, I got lucky – and had some great help from an excellent teacher.

Next: From one of Special Agent Dale Cooper’s culinary passions to another.

Recipe: No Pan Pear Pie